How the Critical Drinker Would Fix the Hobbit Trilogy
The Critical Drinker just tackled the question every Lord of the Rings fan has asked themselves at least once, and his breakdown of how to fix the Hobbit trilogy is as entertaining as it is completely accurate.
Watch the full breakdown in the video below:
Source: The Critical Drinker
The Core Problem Was Always the Same: One Book Stretched Into Three Films
The Hobbit is a compact, whimsical children’s story that could comfortably fit into a single film or at most two. Peter Jackson turned it into three bloated movies totalling nearly nine hours, and that one decision is responsible for almost every problem the trilogy has.
- The Azog storyline was invented from scratch.
- The Tauriel and Legolas romance was added with no basis in the source material.
- The Dol Guldur subplot pulled the tone in a completely different direction.
What made the original Lord of the Rings trilogy so extraordinary was that it was adapting genuinely epic source material. The Hobbit was never that story and no amount of CGI battles or extended running times could make it one. The Drinker’s fix starts with the most obvious move: cut it down to two films and respect the scale of what Tolkien actually wrote.
The Tone Needed to Commit to One Direction and Stick With It
One of the most damaging things about the Hobbit trilogy is its tonal inconsistency. It constantly swings between lighthearted childlike whimsy and grim dark epic fantasy, and the result is a film that never fully works as either.
- The barrel scene plays like a cartoon. Five minutes later there’s a brutal battle sequence.
- The dwarves are played for laughs in one scene and treated as tragic heroes in the next.
- Tolkien’s Hobbit has a clear tone: it’s a fun, warm, episodic adventure with real heart but a much lighter register than The Lord of the Rings.
A fixed version of this trilogy would lean fully into that warmth, scale back the manufactured spectacle, and let the quieter character moments between Bilbo and Thorin do the emotional heavy lifting the way the book always intended.
Enjoyed this breakdown? Get the plot as it happens. Follow us on X, TikTok, and Instagram.
Disclaimer: This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are personal opinions and do not constitute professional, medical, or financial advice.
